Moving on...I hope

I haven't been writing much lately. Truth is, I just haven't been inspired by anything but anger. And that's not always a good thing to share. Why am I so angry lately? Because it's more manageable for me than being sad. I have what millions of people across this world have...a pretty banged up heart. I don't think it's broken....but it definitely knows it was in a fight. And it's not the first time. So...how to fix a battered heart? I mean this quite literally. I know that my heart is not working correctly. My blood pressure is up, I can feel the energy that is stuck there and it is not quick to register things like joy and happiness. I am certain that this can be remedied....but how? There are many different schools of thought, of course. I am going to explore a few in an effort to get myself back on track. We all know that the thing that will likely work without fail is time. "Time heals all wounds." That old adage is mostly true, but, truthfully, I think a more accurate saying is that "time fades our scars."

Mostly, I think we don't want to admit when our hearts are broken. We cowboy up and move on. We tell ourselves "it's for the best," "it's better that I know now instead of later," "he's an ***hole!".....things like that. But in truth it affects our hearts in a very real way. Doc Childre and Deborah Rozman, PhD have researched the heart and have developed a "HeartMath Solution for Transforming Stress." This is something I have learned a little about and am going to embark on learning more. Very simply put, it is a system that uses some biofeedback to control your heart so that it will function better. Yeah! exactly what I need. According to Childre and Rozman the ancients believed that the heart rather that the brain was the seat of emotion. They have been able to demonstrate that the magnetic field of the heart is much more powerful than the brain and can influence not only our own brain waves but also those around us. Interesting. They are saying that our hearts actually have their own brains. This makes sense when it is explained that in the womb our hearts develop before our brains. How do they work before our brains get here? Huh? Wild. So, I am gonna learn more about this stuff and report back.

In the meantime, I am going to try some self-talk that triggers joyful feelings for my heart. From doing Reiki on other people I know that if the heart chakra is blocked it can have everything to do with how you feel about yourself. One of the ways you can clear your heart chakra is to tell yourself that you love yourself. I mean really....until you get it. This sounds too simple. But it really isn't. Especially when your heart has been stomped on and you didn't see that coming. You doubt your intuition, your ability to read people, your desirability. You know that somehow this is all a reflection on you. I think that unless you are a complete sociopath..you blame yourself even when you know in your head that it's not true. Your heart knows. And therein lies the problem. So....now that I have identified the problem I am going to work on the solution. And because I know that you are on the edge of your seat in anticipation, I will write of my findings. I make as good a guinea pig as anyone. So....here I go....."I love myself, I love myself...I love myself." Ugh......this is gonna take some work.