Everybody's scared of something

I'm really not afraid of much. I'm not afraid of the cops.....I'm not breaking any laws, usually. I'm not afraid of terrorists....if they are gonna kill us all I hope I am in the first strike. I'm not afraid of people getting mad at me...I've had plenty of experience with that. But there is a group of people over in Salem that scare the crap out of me.

Every two years, the Oregon Board of Massage Therapists makes you renew your license. Simple, right? No big deal; all professions have their licensing requirements. I understand their need for my money so they can keep massage therapists on the up and up..I don't just get it ...I'm OK with it. But I have to confess that the OBMT scares me more than any group of people ever have. Seriously. It might be because of the practical test they administer which was the scariest hours of my life. It might be that I assume that they are completely lacking humor. It might be that they have the power to completely ruin my life. That last one is probably it, isn't it?

Anyway, I went online a couple weeks ago to renew my license by the appropriate date (and believe me when I tell you that that is not as clear-cut as you would think.) I submitted all of the classes that I took for the continuing education requirement and with each entry I actually thought, "I hope they like this one." Like I was some little kid making a card for my "mommy dearest" and praying that she would think I was "special." It's embarrassing the omnipotence I give these people.

Now you want to hear something completely stupid? I got my mail today and in the box was something from the OBMT. My heart fluttered. I was filled with dread. What if they didn't like my CEU's? What if I made a mistake? What if they are auditing me? What if they just decided for no reason that they don't want to renew my license and this is a 'cease and desist order.' I had all of these thoughts at once. So I brought the mail inside and opened up all the other things first. I had to ease into it. I got a rebate check for $7.00 from Castrol Oil. So far, so good. I got a notice from my credit union about some change they are making that I have no idea what it means. OK, all seems well. Then I opened it. And there before my very eyes was my new license that is good until March 2014. And I actually cried. I'm not joking. I teared-up. With relief. How stupid is that?

When I took the written tests to get my license initially, the computer I took the test on informed me that I passed and went out to my truck and cried really hard. It's the only time in my life that I cried over a test. Tests don't freak me out...I either know the stuff or I don't and I set my expectations for the grade accordingly. But this test was important. And I was so relieved I bawled like a little baby. I wonder what I would have done if I failed? I probably would have gotten mad.

It's the silliest things that get us.....that are important to us. It's not that I think I have done anything wrong to make the OBMT pull my license....not the case..I am following the rules to the letter! It's not that I think they are unfair and want to mess with me...I don't. I guess it's just that that little stupid piece of paper really means the world to me. Not because I think I sacrificed so much to get it. I did sacrifice some things...but willingly and certainly nothing huge in the great scheme of things. I'm really not sure why it's so important to me...but it is. So, thanks OBMT for not screwing with license # 15999 because I am not sure I could handle it!