The day after the election

Today, about half the country is disappointed. And being the "glass is half full" kind of person that I am, that also means that half of the country is happy today. I hope that the happy people really throw that good energy around because I feel like we have all been holding our breath for the last few days. I was driving on the highway yesterday in the middle of the day and it was deserted. I was, like, "did Armageddon happen and I didn't get the memo, or what?" Where was everyone? I guess people were holed-up in their bomb shelters or root cellars waiting for the real storm to start.

I am happy the election is over. Admittedly, I watched very little of the talking heads. I can't take it. Everything has to Be. Such. A. Big. Deal. But still, I am alive, I am breathing, and I do have a television so I got the gist of the campaigns. Basically, this is what I got from it....(and, yes,  I realize that this is not new.) Both parties are essentially accusing the other party of being selfish. One side is selfish with their money in that they want to hang on to some of it. The other side is selfish in that they want to alleviate their guilty consciences by helping every perceived abused person on the planet. So is everyone selfish? Yes, I believe they are. It's human nature to want to take care of yourself and your family at the highest standard possible. There are maybe 5 completely selfless people in this entire world..and even they benefit from being that way because they are on the fast track to enlightenment. So, why don't we all just come clean with our selfishness already?! I'll start: last night when I went to bed, in those moments before I fell asleep, I asked God for two favors. One was that my choice of the lesser-of-two-evils would win the election. The other was that my hand, which had been really hurting all day, would be better in the morning. Both of these favors I asked of God were to benefit my business...and therefore me, (although, Hi! Massage does help others.) I just want to be able to do my massages without pain, and in return, I would like to make enough money to eat and have a roof over my head. I really don't think that is asking too much. But is that selfish, or self-love? Selfish is "concerned only with oneself, without regard for the well-beings of others," Self-love is, "the instinct or desire to promote one's  own well-being." I think both sides are guilty of self-love. And that is OK.

So, when I woke up this morning I realized that only one of my favors was granted. But it was the important one....my hand feels fine today! But that doesn't mean I will quit worrying about the state of our nation. When I stopped at the bank this morning to make a deposit, the bank cashier asked me, "what kind of check is this?" I stared blankly at her for a second before answering that it was a paycheck. I thought, as I drove away, that maybe that was the first time the poor girl had ever seen one.

Team Awesome

Sometimes you just need someone your own age to hang out with. Someone who is your emotional equal, someone who likes to do the same things you do. Someone that listens to the same music, someone that gets your jokes. Someone with the same energy level. Essentially, someone who is the same maturity level. Luckily, I have someone who fits that bill. She is 13. (In my defense, she is almost 14.) And lucky for me she was around this summer (and last) so I  had a buddy.

We went camping on a creek, we went camping on a lake, we went camping on a creek that we called a lake. We went thunder egg finding (not hunting, not searching.....FINDING) and we did it all in our backyard! You don't have to go far to find fun in beautiful Central Oregon. We spent a decent amount of time trying to stand up on half- flat rafts in the lake, which provided entertainment for those on shore. (You are welcome.) We put the dog in the kayak and he pretty much told us with his eyes that is was about damn time! The only time we did different things was at the campfire in the evenings. "The Kid" made s'mores and I had a cocktail(s). Other than that we were pretty much on the same page.

How refreshing it is to have a relationship where you pretty much agree on what to do that day. No arguing or vying for control, no hidden agendas. Just peace and quiet  and contentment. It was great.

I always think this is going to be the last summer my niece will want to hang out with her old aunt. She is a teenager, after all. She has lots of friends, and she does plenty with them, but she seems to be pretty happy getting outside and exploring what there is out there with me. (Maybe because I have a car???)  Her priorities may change...and that is OK. I'm just happy that we have been able to do so many  fun things in the last few years.

Next summer, Team Awesome to the Steens?

Life is Good...enough

I sort of like the logo that is on T-shirts and hats and spare tire covers.. Life is Good. They are cute...there is usually a dog involved. But really it should just say, Life is Good Enough. Because sometimes life isn't that good...but it's good enough. Do we really have to go around acting so damn happy all the time? It's not normal.

For instance, I just turned 50. This is not particularly good news...but it's not the worst news ever, either. I could be 60. But the bitter pill of turning 50 was washed down with some good friends and vodka. The fact remains that the pill still was bitter, but I didn't really taste it going down. And that is good enough.

I'm still not overly happy about this age thing, but I am happy that I have some of the most awesome friends of all time. This includes some people that are actually related to me..but I'm putting them in the friend category for this. They took me to Nashville for my birthday. Nashville is the new Vegas as far as we are concerned. Cheaper, less hype, much less walking and way more hot guys who sing country songs to you. What's not to like about that? If you like country music...you should totally go there. If you don't, do not go...they have speakers on every street corner playing country tunes all the time. And every bar (and there are plenty of them) has live music playing around the clock. Really good, really talented musicians who are playing for tips. They are working their butts off trying to be somebody!

I do try to dwell on the positive and not the negative. This is a good example of that. I have been on the Earth for a pretty long time......sure....but In that time I have acquired a lot of really good, funny, smart and generous friends!!! Which reminds me....where are we going for my 60th??

Everybody's scared of something

I'm really not afraid of much. I'm not afraid of the cops.....I'm not breaking any laws, usually. I'm not afraid of terrorists....if they are gonna kill us all I hope I am in the first strike. I'm not afraid of people getting mad at me...I've had plenty of experience with that. But there is a group of people over in Salem that scare the crap out of me.

Every two years, the Oregon Board of Massage Therapists makes you renew your license. Simple, right? No big deal; all professions have their licensing requirements. I understand their need for my money so they can keep massage therapists on the up and up..I don't just get it ...I'm OK with it. But I have to confess that the OBMT scares me more than any group of people ever have. Seriously. It might be because of the practical test they administer which was the scariest hours of my life. It might be that I assume that they are completely lacking humor. It might be that they have the power to completely ruin my life. That last one is probably it, isn't it?

Anyway, I went online a couple weeks ago to renew my license by the appropriate date (and believe me when I tell you that that is not as clear-cut as you would think.) I submitted all of the classes that I took for the continuing education requirement and with each entry I actually thought, "I hope they like this one." Like I was some little kid making a card for my "mommy dearest" and praying that she would think I was "special." It's embarrassing the omnipotence I give these people.

Now you want to hear something completely stupid? I got my mail today and in the box was something from the OBMT. My heart fluttered. I was filled with dread. What if they didn't like my CEU's? What if I made a mistake? What if they are auditing me? What if they just decided for no reason that they don't want to renew my license and this is a 'cease and desist order.' I had all of these thoughts at once. So I brought the mail inside and opened up all the other things first. I had to ease into it. I got a rebate check for $7.00 from Castrol Oil. So far, so good. I got a notice from my credit union about some change they are making that I have no idea what it means. OK, all seems well. Then I opened it. And there before my very eyes was my new license that is good until March 2014. And I actually cried. I'm not joking. I teared-up. With relief. How stupid is that?

When I took the written tests to get my license initially, the computer I took the test on informed me that I passed and went out to my truck and cried really hard. It's the only time in my life that I cried over a test. Tests don't freak me out...I either know the stuff or I don't and I set my expectations for the grade accordingly. But this test was important. And I was so relieved I bawled like a little baby. I wonder what I would have done if I failed? I probably would have gotten mad.

It's the silliest things that get us.....that are important to us. It's not that I think I have done anything wrong to make the OBMT pull my license....not the case..I am following the rules to the letter! It's not that I think they are unfair and want to mess with me...I don't. I guess it's just that that little stupid piece of paper really means the world to me. Not because I think I sacrificed so much to get it. I did sacrifice some things...but willingly and certainly nothing huge in the great scheme of things. I'm really not sure why it's so important to me...but it is. So, thanks OBMT for not screwing with license # 15999 because I am not sure I could handle it!

A super hero for today

My favorite character is back for his new season on the Science Channel. That's right, Karl Pilkington. He's the funniest man (bloke) on TV. I seriously want this guy to be my new boyfriend because he makes me laugh more than anyone has in a while. Certainly, you have all watched An Idiot Abroad?? (I've written about it before.) Well now his new season is subtitled The Bucket List. The producers of the show come clean that it is not in fact Karl's bucket list....not sure what would be on his bucket list except to sit quietly somewhere with some potato chips (crisps) and have no one bother him. (Just that image alone makes me love the man.) Anyway, as much as I would love to tell you every funny thing that he says (I really would love that) I think that you might get bored...and honestly you should just tune into the show and hear it straight from his beautiful lips.... I do want to tell you about something that he said that resonated with me very much.

So Karl is on the Trans-Siberian train with a Russian guy who is magnetic. I mean that objects stick to him, like he is a human magnet. So Karl thinks this is not the most handy power to have and the camera man asks, "Well, what super powers would you want to have, then?" And Karl came up with the best answer of all. He would be "Bulls*** Man." He would wear regular clothing, no cape or anything and would swoop down when appropriate and call "bulls***" on people. His hope being that if he calls people on their bull**** they will eventually stop it. It's as if Karl can read my mind. This is my greatest hope for mankind.

This is the kind of thing that I run into all the time and I am pretty sure Karl and I are not alone. I realize that I am a bit odd. I don't ever quite fit in with people who do what I do. When I did mediation, I didn't fit in with the soft spoken, never-say-anything-to-offend-anyone-ever crowd. Now that I do massage and Reiki I don't fit in with the peace, love and granola crowd. And I know why....it's because I am able to spot bull**** when I hear it. Simple as that. Oh what a world (and a personal relief to me) to have Karl be Bulls*** Man so that I didn't have to do it! There have been plenty of times when I ended up being the bad guy because I called "bulls*** around people who tout the adage that we "all just need to love everybody." It's just not realistic! I'm not afraid to say it...but I inevitably get "that look" that says "oh, poor Lee...she just doesn't get it yet." And maybe I don't. But I do not see, anytime soon, a world where everyone should be trusted based on the words that come out of their mouths. I am weary of people who walk around acting like they are more evolved than the rest of us. Like they have it all figured out. No they don't! People who act like that are no better than the rest of us. And sometimes they are worse.

There's a word for people who trust everything everyone says...and that word is "sucker." Karl and I will not be suckers. Bulls*** Man to the rescue!!

You never know

As all my followers (heeheehee) may remember, I was a Juvenile Probation Officer for many years before I gave it all up to be a massage therapist. Some would say that that was a really stupid idea. And when I sit down to pay my bills I think those people were probably right. But I believe there is a shelf life to most things; relationships, friendships, jobs, cheese (I found a piece in the back of the fridge that had gone beyond that shelf life...not pretty.) And the shelf life of the Juvenile Department job had expired.

One of the frustrating things (let me emphasize "one") about that job was that you never knew if you were doing one bit of good. You seriously had to have faith that you were doing the right thing even if many people were yelling at you telling you that you were Satan and you should just go back to Hell where you belonged and leave their poor child alone...."He's a good boy!" But you didn't cave..you couldn't and you told yourself that someday they would thank you. Ha. Those somedays never come. And yet, the other day it was someday.

My new phone rang (I'll have to write another blog on how a new touch screen cell phone can ruin your life) and I saw that it was a call from California. Contrary to my regular habits, I answered it. It was a man's voice telling me his name and asking if I remembered him. After I made sure I heard the name right I said, "oh, I remember you!" Mac was a kid on my caseload waaaayyyy back in the day. He's in his 30's now (gulp) and he called me to buy a massage from me for his mom who still lives in town. He said he googles me every so often to see what I am up to and found my website. I asked him why he does that and he said, "because you were a good influence on me when I needed it." Gulp again. I was touched. He went on to tell me that he is a musician...a rapper, and that he just finished a European tour. Wow! When I hung up I went straight to the research library of google and typed in his professional name. He was everywhere. Lots of videos on Utube..and I watched them. And I cried. I was really proud of that kid! Mac always had lots of personality and he was cute....and it looks like he coupled that with some hard work and made something of himself. That's all any of us Juvenile PO's ever wanted!!

I was touched that Mac went out of his way to call me....it was risky. He'd feel like crap if I didn't remember him. He may never know how much his call touched my heart. If you read this blog, Mac....thank you for that!

So the lesson here is that you do what you do with good intentions and faith. We may never know how much we have influenced another person. We all touch each other more profoundly than we realize. It's a strong power that we have to use responsibly.