Everybody's scared of something

I'm really not afraid of much. I'm not afraid of the cops.....I'm not breaking any laws, usually. I'm not afraid of terrorists....if they are gonna kill us all I hope I am in the first strike. I'm not afraid of people getting mad at me...I've had plenty of experience with that. But there is a group of people over in Salem that scare the crap out of me.

Every two years, the Oregon Board of Massage Therapists makes you renew your license. Simple, right? No big deal; all professions have their licensing requirements. I understand their need for my money so they can keep massage therapists on the up and up..I don't just get it ...I'm OK with it. But I have to confess that the OBMT scares me more than any group of people ever have. Seriously. It might be because of the practical test they administer which was the scariest hours of my life. It might be that I assume that they are completely lacking humor. It might be that they have the power to completely ruin my life. That last one is probably it, isn't it?

Anyway, I went online a couple weeks ago to renew my license by the appropriate date (and believe me when I tell you that that is not as clear-cut as you would think.) I submitted all of the classes that I took for the continuing education requirement and with each entry I actually thought, "I hope they like this one." Like I was some little kid making a card for my "mommy dearest" and praying that she would think I was "special." It's embarrassing the omnipotence I give these people.

Now you want to hear something completely stupid? I got my mail today and in the box was something from the OBMT. My heart fluttered. I was filled with dread. What if they didn't like my CEU's? What if I made a mistake? What if they are auditing me? What if they just decided for no reason that they don't want to renew my license and this is a 'cease and desist order.' I had all of these thoughts at once. So I brought the mail inside and opened up all the other things first. I had to ease into it. I got a rebate check for $7.00 from Castrol Oil. So far, so good. I got a notice from my credit union about some change they are making that I have no idea what it means. OK, all seems well. Then I opened it. And there before my very eyes was my new license that is good until March 2014. And I actually cried. I'm not joking. I teared-up. With relief. How stupid is that?

When I took the written tests to get my license initially, the computer I took the test on informed me that I passed and went out to my truck and cried really hard. It's the only time in my life that I cried over a test. Tests don't freak me out...I either know the stuff or I don't and I set my expectations for the grade accordingly. But this test was important. And I was so relieved I bawled like a little baby. I wonder what I would have done if I failed? I probably would have gotten mad.

It's the silliest things that get us.....that are important to us. It's not that I think I have done anything wrong to make the OBMT pull my license....not the case..I am following the rules to the letter! It's not that I think they are unfair and want to mess with me...I don't. I guess it's just that that little stupid piece of paper really means the world to me. Not because I think I sacrificed so much to get it. I did sacrifice some things...but willingly and certainly nothing huge in the great scheme of things. I'm really not sure why it's so important to me...but it is. So, thanks OBMT for not screwing with license # 15999 because I am not sure I could handle it!

A super hero for today

My favorite character is back for his new season on the Science Channel. That's right, Karl Pilkington. He's the funniest man (bloke) on TV. I seriously want this guy to be my new boyfriend because he makes me laugh more than anyone has in a while. Certainly, you have all watched An Idiot Abroad?? (I've written about it before.) Well now his new season is subtitled The Bucket List. The producers of the show come clean that it is not in fact Karl's bucket list....not sure what would be on his bucket list except to sit quietly somewhere with some potato chips (crisps) and have no one bother him. (Just that image alone makes me love the man.) Anyway, as much as I would love to tell you every funny thing that he says (I really would love that) I think that you might get bored...and honestly you should just tune into the show and hear it straight from his beautiful lips.... I do want to tell you about something that he said that resonated with me very much.

So Karl is on the Trans-Siberian train with a Russian guy who is magnetic. I mean that objects stick to him, like he is a human magnet. So Karl thinks this is not the most handy power to have and the camera man asks, "Well, what super powers would you want to have, then?" And Karl came up with the best answer of all. He would be "Bulls*** Man." He would wear regular clothing, no cape or anything and would swoop down when appropriate and call "bulls***" on people. His hope being that if he calls people on their bull**** they will eventually stop it. It's as if Karl can read my mind. This is my greatest hope for mankind.

This is the kind of thing that I run into all the time and I am pretty sure Karl and I are not alone. I realize that I am a bit odd. I don't ever quite fit in with people who do what I do. When I did mediation, I didn't fit in with the soft spoken, never-say-anything-to-offend-anyone-ever crowd. Now that I do massage and Reiki I don't fit in with the peace, love and granola crowd. And I know why....it's because I am able to spot bull**** when I hear it. Simple as that. Oh what a world (and a personal relief to me) to have Karl be Bulls*** Man so that I didn't have to do it! There have been plenty of times when I ended up being the bad guy because I called "bulls*** around people who tout the adage that we "all just need to love everybody." It's just not realistic! I'm not afraid to say it...but I inevitably get "that look" that says "oh, poor Lee...she just doesn't get it yet." And maybe I don't. But I do not see, anytime soon, a world where everyone should be trusted based on the words that come out of their mouths. I am weary of people who walk around acting like they are more evolved than the rest of us. Like they have it all figured out. No they don't! People who act like that are no better than the rest of us. And sometimes they are worse.

There's a word for people who trust everything everyone says...and that word is "sucker." Karl and I will not be suckers. Bulls*** Man to the rescue!!